About Us

Who are we?

Mad Passion AfterDark was born of a bloody good belly laugh, and the desire to make other people laugh. In my humble opinion, a robust sense of humour and a great big belly laugh is quite possibly the sexiest thing on the planet.

Our products are handmade with love and laughter, from quality ingredients, and someone experienced in putting all of this amazing shit together.

We are all about promoting a positive self-image, you be you, not some carbon copy of who anyone thinks you should be. If you want to identify as a purple unicorn with a jewel-encrusted teal horn, fantastic, love it, be aware that I will refer to traditional gender terms. This is not to offend anyone, but so that I do not confuse anyone by being obtuse …and let’s face it, if you are already this far down the page you have already worked out we are not going to be very PC here.

Who are you?

You need to be an adult, I am not going to be fielding questions from your Mummy or Daddy about the appropriateness of the content of my website. When you’re legal come back and sneak a peek, and not before. Seriously!

Look if you don’t have a sense of humour, for starters you poor thing, life is so dull without one, and this is really not the site for you. If you are easily offended by swearing and innuendo, again bow out now, this is not the site for you. I refuse to apologise to anyone for laughing at life.

Rules and regs

Given the nature of these products, we do not accept returns for hygiene reasons. All sales are final for this reason.

Not for internal use, come on guys, seriously? Did I actually have to say that? There are some great shops both online and physical that can set you up appropriately.

If you are some sicko who gets a kick out of stalking people, making people uncomfortable, or creeped out, get the hell off my website and go get some help! Do not buy my products and give them to someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, or appreciate your advances. This site is for consenting adults with a robust sense of humour ONLY. 

If you get your jollies by being deceitful, seeing how far you can push a small business, to see if you can get something for nothing, being a nuisance to myself or my staff, then please know I will not enter into your stupid little games. If you have a genuine problem with your order, I will genuinely try to help you, if not, grow up and don’t be a dick.